On Wednesday January 24, 2018 I was meditating on the Word of God. For the very first time in my Christian life of 11 years I heard the audible voice of God and this is what He said “One day you will raise a church”. This was something that freaked me out, if I am being honest, Why? Because the voice I heard sounded just like my voice, so I had to ask myself… am I going crazy?
Two days later on Friday January 26th at 9:50PM God gave me my answer. That night I met with my Christian Brother Rajesh who loves God more than most men I have met. I told him I thought God had given me a message… he was very excited to hear this and told me God had also given him one. When I shared the story, he just nodded and smiled… so I asked him what message he heard from God. He said, God told him I was going to be called into Ministry.
This BLEW me away and I started talking to different Pastors I know about this matter… there were so many questions I had… where do I start? How could he use me to Pastor? I have other plans for my life, this is insane!
Flash forward to today, nearly eight months later to the day, and I have not taken ONE step forward on the path to my calling. The excuse I give myself goes like this… College is too expensive, I want to go the Grand Canyon University but by the time I finish Seminary I will have a student loan debt of nearly $50,000… and my wife and I are really trying to focus on getting and staying debt free. I don’t have the funds to pay my way through College as I go, so I am just stuck for the moment.
But as I said that is just an excuse, maybe the real truth is that I’m afraid. Maybe the calling is too great. Maybe I know the man I have been in my life and don’t want to risk leading a church and then one day possibly falling back into pornography. Maybe I feel like putting myself on a stage to give a sermon is the last thing I need to do, my pride has been a huge struggle in my life… how much more prideful could I become at the pulpit?
When I sit here writing these thoughts out I can see how the enemy has filled me with doubts and fear. We know that our God is not a God of confusion, but of clarity. Back in January God gave me that clarity, then He waited to see what I would do… and now we know: Nothing.
But that nothing, has to end here and now. So today I reached out to Grand Canyon University to request the information I need to begin the fall semester. It’s time to start taking those steps forward and allow God to correct my path as I go.
Share Your Thoughts
Should someone who is called into the Ministry be concerned about the financial cost of Bible School?
Does God call the prepared, or does He prepare the Called?
Is it normal to doubt God’s Calling?
How many confirmations would you need to follow the Call of God?