Addiction

I’m Coming Clean About My Secret Addiction

People who know me or those who see me regularly would not be surprised or shocked by what I am about to reveal to you… But I have been hiding an addiction for nearly my entire life. Until Now. Sadly it is an addiction that has been normalized in our society which makes it even easier to justify.

My name is Keith, and I am addicted to food.

You might be asking why people close to me wouldn’t be surprised… that’s because I have grown to over 330 lbs in weight with a belly that could hold triplets if I were a pregnant woman. As you know I am no stranger to addiction… as I have battled alcohol in the distant past and pornography in the not-so distant past. For some reason I have allowed my logical mind to stop operating when it comes to my food addiction.

What do I mean? Allow me illustrate…

Imagine I am addicted to crack cocaine. I get through a tough week, but manage not to use crack… then Sunday comes… FREE DAY! So I decide to smoke some crack to celebrate my week of crack-free living… plus it will help me get through the coming week.

Now take that paragraph above and insert ANY addiction. Smoking weed, Drinking, Gambling, Porn, Anger… ANY OTHER ADDICTION. When you do that, in every single case it sounds completely ludicrous. Completely insane. Except when it comes to food.

Moderation is the key they say (those food experts out there), you can eat anything you want as long as it’s in moderation. What a load of crap. Why can’t we smoke crack cocaine in moderation? Why can’t we watch a “little” porn here and there… in moderation? WHY? Because certain things in life are POISONOUS. Toxic. Dangerous. And as a Christian I know I should avoid those things at all costs.

And YES, the wrong foods are in that same category.

Please understand something… I am not trying to change your life, change your mind or change the world. I am simply sharing a personal struggle I have had my entire life. Not a week goes by that I don’t consume an entire large pizza myself… in most weeks, it’s multiple pizzas. I don’t drink alcohol any more but I do put down about six 2 liters of soda per week. Ice cream, junk cereal, burgers, tacos, fries… you name it. If it is bad for you and comes out of a drive-thru then it’s part of my regular diet.

Every day I wake up feeling like an 80 year old man in a 47 year old body… I cannot sleep on my stomach, it’s too big, I have to sleep on my side like a pregnant woman. I cannot tie my shoes without losing my breath. I cannot stand for long periods of time without aches and pains. I cannot buy clothes in normal  stores I need to shop at specialty big and tall man stores. I cannot sit comfortably in most places… like churches, airplanes, restaurant booths or movie theaters. God forbid If I ever have to defend my family, I would be all but useless.

Today is the day. October 2nd, 2018. My new sobriety date. The day I stop eating the wrong foods and start exercising. The day I reclaim my health. The day I start treating my food addiction… as a REAL ADDICTION.  With accountability partners, meetings, the whole thing. I will no longer allow myself to have a FREE DAY or to put poisons in my body. Today is a new day and I will be dedicating a serious amount of time on this blog in support of my journey.

Here is a photo that was just taken this past Sunday September 30, 2018
(that’s me in the white shirt)… the other folks are none other than Adam’s Road…

IMG_20180930_205455

You can see how far I have to go, but in the next week I will take some actual before photos and post some stats that are measurable once I visit my doctor and get some blood work results.

My brother in Christ Rudy is lending me his elliptical machine for as long as I need it! Praise God for good friends. Tomorrow I will be picking it up, I also have a next door neighbor who is going to let me use their Bowflex… you see how God removes every excuse I can come up with?

But let’s not kid ourselves, the only way to truly succeed is to change my eating habits once and for all. For that God has given me my beautiful wife who is pure Vegan. She has been gently nudging me towards that for years, but I have resisted every time. Today I stop resisting. Tomorrow I am off to the store to buy some vegetables, fruits and other items to get me started. She has been reading and studying this stuff for years, so I will just follow her expertise.

The next few weeks, probably months, will be very difficult and challenging for me… so I am outright asking for your prayers and encouragement. This will be the single biggest obstacle I have ever had to overcome… even compared to pornography. I will have to rely heavily on Jesus Christ to carry me through and I will have to be on my knees in prayer constantly.

The road will be the most difficult but the rewards will be INCREDIBLE. As with every other time I have faced an addiction in my life, I always try to pump myself up… I’ll probably be playing some Rocky music soon (that works every time). In all seriousness I want to thank you in advance for any prayers…. 225 lbs is the objective. That is over 100 lbs.

Let’s do this.

doug-heffernan-b5b9098a-6e6f-4d78-a1f5-743c32e4ef0-resize-750

 

 

8 replies »

  1. Ahhh…Soda. I used to drink lots of the stuff, especially those 64 ounce cups you could pick up for like a dollar. I remember that I got so addicted to the stuff that it felt irresistable at times, and when the urge came I had to have it. I think it’s the combination of the Caffiene and the sugar content. When I came to the Lord, I broke the addiction through prayer. I generally avoid it like the black plague now. I will be keeping you in prayer.

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s