An Open Letter to Porn Addicted Christian Men

Dear Brothers in Christ,

On this blog I have written extensively on the harmful effects and devastation that viewing pornography brings into your life. I have shared my testimony of how pornography addiction nearly destroyed everything in my life… my marriage, my job, my health, and my position in the local church.

Today I want to write to you, man to man, brother to brother. If you are caught up in a secret habit of pornography it is time to take a stand and bring it to the light. I know what you are thinking… you can never tell anyone, it would ruin everything. Your wife would be devastated, your marriage might fall apart, you might lose your job, you might be shamed at church, your children… what would they think?

You need to understand something… all of those thoughts are not your own… they are whispers from an enemy that wants to destroy EVERYTHING in your life. You see the enemy wants you to keep everything hidden away in the darkness, this is where sin grows. They know if you bring your habit into the light of day, the hold it has over you will evaporate.

Believe me, I understand how incredibly difficult it is to tell ANYONE about a secret porn addiction… but that is exactly what you need to do, before it is too late. If you find yourself mindlessly watching porn with deep levels of regret afterwards you are addicted my friend… and just like any other addiction you need to take it very seriously.

At this point there is no question in my mind, if this article was written for you, that you desperately want help, you desperately want to quit this habit for good. So where do you go from here? The first step is to STOP watching porn, which means you will need to get some digital protection on your devices… RIGHT NOW. There are many programs that help in this area, but as you may know from reading my blog, I highly recommend Covenant Eyes which I have personally used for years with great success. Get something installed on your devices as soon as possible, you need to put defensive walls up quickly.

Next you need to come clean about your addiction, this is going to be the toughest step at first… but once you take it… the most exhilarating and life changing. You have to decide who you are going to share your struggle with. My advice is to seek out trusted counsel within your local church, preferably a member of the Pastoral staff. Most churches today either have programs to help you, or a list of other churches in the area that do. Once you have sat down with your Pastor, it is time to prayerfully approach your wife. You  need to be honest with her about your addiction, and commit to her that you will get the help you need. Show her the steps you have already taken (the software and the support group), deeply apologize to her – she will be in a lot of emotional pain at first… but if you approach her prayerfully it is my hope she will come along side you to support you in your recovery.

You need to realize something very important, in most everyone’s eyes pornography IS a form of adultery… it is certainly the case in your wife’s mind. This means, Biblically speaking, she has every right to divorce you. Let that sink in for a moment. She could divorce you, take your children and she would have every right to do so. This is the incredibly dark and destructive nature of sin… particularly sexual sin. So it is VERY important that you get on your knees in prayer to the Lord before you have that conversation with your wife.

The last thing I want to encourage you to do is download and read my ebook Shattering the Chains of Sexual Addiction. This book is free and a very quick read… it outlines everything I have done to break free of porn. When Jesus shattered those chains in my life, I knew a huge part of my ministry was going to be helping other men find that freedom.

It may seem like you are so lost in your addiction that there is no way out. OR even worse you may think you can continue to hide your addiction and no one will find out. On both of those points you are DEAD WRONG (take it from someone who has been on the path ahead of you). You are never SO lost that Jesus Christ cannot restore you… and if you continue your life of hidden sin, you WILL be discovered… it’s only a matter of when.

Brother, you don’t have to live in darkness anymore and as a Christian man God wants and expects more for you… He wants you to live a life of victory. If you want to talk one on one, you can email me anytime… I will be here. Standtallforchrist@gmail.com

Stay Strong & Stand Tall

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Momo Suicide Game Is Clearly Demonic Activity

You may have read the news lately concerning a disturbing new trend, or “game” that is spreading around the world… it is being referred to as the “Momo Suicide Game”. The only reason I am speaking of it here on my blog is to raise awareness of obvious demonic activity and to warn parents who may be unaware. The demons behind this game have already been linked to several suicides around the world and it continues to spread across social media.

How does it work? There is a messaging app called WhatsApp… and on this app you can reach out and contact a user named “Momo”. This demon(s) is operating out of Japan currently. When you contact Momo you are messaged back, and sent violent images and harassed until you respond. You are “challenged” to do things like physically hurt yourself and the final challenge in the game is to take your own life.

If you choose to ignore Momo you are threatened by the demon with a curse, physical harm to your family and friends and threats to expose private information about you to the world. If you think this is a sick joke it is not, it is very real and YES people are really killing themselves as this article on Fox News just reported today.

This is not the first viral suicide game, in fact another demonic game called the Blue Whale Challenge has been linked to hundreds of suicides around the world.

For those of you who don’t believe in demons or the spiritual world around us, this is a crystal clear example of demons operating right out in the open, right in our faces, all over the news and across social networks… and skeptics do nothing except report that it is nothing more than criminal activity. Wrong. It is time for people to wake up and open their eyes to what is really happening in the world.

PARENTS please be aware of what your children are doing online. You can monitor their activity while on computers and devices and I highly recommend you do just that. It is a very dangerous world and the internet is full of all sorts of threats you are not aware of…  and your children can find these threats easier than you think.

How many news stories of suicides have we read about children who were cyber-bullied? How many sexual predators lurk around apps and games and social pages your children frequent? The very real list of dangers could go on and on and on… so what is a parent supposed to do?

Engage with your children, speak with them regularly, take an interest in what they are doing. Watch their behavior for mood swings and changes, these can be red flags. You might also consider having the kids turn in their smart phones before bed each night, to be secured in your room and limit internet access to a common room in the house during specific times.

These are just some ideas to consider, but remember the devil is prowling around like a lion looking for someone to devour. He never sleeps, He never rests. His army is always at work in the world, and we have to be Soldiers for Christ using our greatest weapon every day… prayer.

Stay Strong & Stand Tall

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My Walk Away From God’s Purpose

Very recently I have stepped off the path of God’s plan for my life and for a few weeks have walked my own path. This involved pursuing worldly interests and ultimately was taking me far away from my one true purpose on Earth, to build the Kingdom of God.

This is not the first time this has happened in my Christian life, but I do pray it is the last. Let me be very honest with you… when I walk my own path away from God, it is shocking how quickly I can revert back to my former self. My anger can rage out of control, my language devolves into nonsense, my time is spent in the world instead of in the Kingdom… and the result? Everything seems to fall apart. The marriage and home life becomes turbulent, work becomes more stressful,  free time is spent on meaningless activities, fellowship with other believers is put on the back burner, church ministry becomes an option, time with God in prayer and meditation becomes sparse. All the while I am being cheered on by the unseen enemy around me, who is laughing it up over the choices I have made.

God never forsakes you

As I continued down this reckless path God never once left my side, in fact He was always there and constantly trying to get my attention. A few days back I received a notification on my phone from my Bible app… it was the verse of the day. The verse that popped up really spoke into my life and the situation I found myself.

At the time my curiosity was peaked, but not enough to really get me to wake up. Flash forward to this morning. When I woke up, I found myself sitting at my computer, looking over the different projects that had taken me on a detour from God… and in that moment a sinking feeling came over me. What was I doing? Where is the purpose in my life? It nearly felt like despair… so I reached for my phone and opened the Bible app, I wanted to read that verse again, but couldn’t remember the citation. So I wondered, could I go back in time and look at previous verses of the day? I could only hope.

As I opened the App, God once again was way ahead of me, and still had that very verse waiting for me from days earlier…

Proverbs 19:21 Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the LORD that will stand. – ESV

This is precisely what I needed to hear from God in this moment, and it is no coincidence that God presented it to me when He did. Minutes later I asked my wife to sit with me in the living room, and I asked her… did she think God is involved in the smallest of things… you know like Bible App notifications! She thought the question was odd, so I shared everything with her… and she revealed something to me. The night before she had been in prayer asking God to guide me back on the right path and away from all of my distractions. The night before! We held hands and prayed together, thanking God for never leaving us… as we so easily leave Him sometimes.

Later in the day I phoned my Christian brother Johnny and left him a voicemail asking if he wanted to fellowship. He called back and said it was quite a coincidence that I called when I did, as he was just speaking with God about getting back into fellowship and ministry. Many times what we call coincidence is simply God weaving His plan into our lives.

Did you know God has a purpose for YOUR life?

You may not think about this much, as one day runs into the next and you just find yourself going through the motions of life… but God has a very special position for you in his Earthly Kingdom. Your skills, abilities, gifts and talents were custom designed for it when he stitched you together in your Mother’s womb.

It is my hope you will be encouraged to discover that purpose and if you already know your purpose I pray you spend each day fulfilling it.

Stay Strong & Stand Tall

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Rebuke: An Open Letter to Christians Who Are Against Homosexuality, From a Homosexual Christian

Today I found an article online titled “An open letter to Christians who are against Homosexuality, from a Homosexual Christian”. Obviously with a title like that I had to take a peek, what I discovered was a LONG list of justifications put forth by the writer for her sin. She signed the article Katie Breckenridge is a gay Christian from Sydney, Australia. To give you an indicator of her mindset, she places the fact that she is GAY ahead of her identity as a Christian, as you will soon see in her writings.

Link to Full Article – Click Here

Below I want to rebuke her article, one paragraph at a time, her writings are in blue.

Christians claim to be full of love. Christians claim to not be judgmental. But so many Christians have absolutely no idea how wrong and hurtful they are. They live in blissful ignorance, believing they are so holy that they could never hurt another person and that their way of thinking is absolutely correct.

I have never met the Christian she describes here. What does being holy have to do with hurting someone any way? Was Jesus holy? Did he say things truthfully or sugar coat everything?

This letter isn’t aiming to change anyone’s mind. Most Christians are set in their ways and will never admit that their interpretation of the Bible might be wrong. This letter is simply trying to let Christians know how hurtful and damaging their ignorance can be, even when they think they are being accepting and loving.

Ignorance of what exactly? Maybe we will get to the bottom of this if we keep reading.

Of course, many Christians don’t think like this. Many Christians don’t believe that homosexuality is a sin and they understand that the Bible was relevant to the context of the time, when homosexuality was not understood like it is today. Homosexuality back then was (generally) a lustful act. Today, however, we know that homosexuality is a real, loving commitment that two people have with each other. Furthermore, Jesus never mentioned homosexuality, not even once. If being homosexual is such a perverted and sinful thing, surely Jesus would have commented on it, like he did about divorce.

  1. If a Christian doesn’t believe homosexuality is a sin, they are wrong.
  2. The Bible, as every Christian should know is RELEVANT in ALL times, which is why we call it the Living Word of God.
  3. Homosexuality is about SEXUAL attractions and actions. Which is why it’s called homoSEXUALITY.
  4. Jesus didn’t mention rape, embezzling, arson, heroin addiction, animal cruelty, or a thousand other sinful behaviors. So by his silence, then these are all good things?

1 John 4:8 says “Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.” Read that again. God is love. The fact that two people of the same sex can experience true and pure love for each other is proof that their love is real and God breathed. If their love was so wrong and so sinful, and God hates sin, how is it that they’re experiencing love? I guess some Christians would argue their love isn’t real love, that it’s just replicating real love, that it’s just lust or a perverted love—which truly shows their ignorance.

I can LOVE another man, in fact I DO Love other men, my father, my brother, and many friends in my life. There is nothing wrong with love, it is LUST and sexual desires of the same sex that are sinful. If you LOVE another woman romantically, that is sinful. This goes back to feelings… just because something feels natural to you, doesn’t make it less sinful. Talk to ANY person with any sexual desire you don’t agree with, they will state emphatically it feels natural to them.

A line many Christians like to say when they’re trying to seem like less of a judgmental asshole is, “Jesus called us to love everybody, including prostitutes, criminals, and tax collectors. We are called to love those who are especially hard to love, people like you.” To compare homosexuality to murder, lying, and rape is so hurtful. All the sins in the Bible are sins because they ultimately have negative outcomes either toward the individual or others. But homosexuality does not have negative consequences, because it is love, and there is nothing destructive about love.

Sin is not a sin because it has negative outcomes either toward an individual or others. Sin is Sin because it is a transgression of God’s law. It is shocking that she is trying so hard to justify her behavior, and yet lacks a basic understanding of sin… or worse willfully denies it. Homosexuality has plenty of negative consequences.

1 Corinthians 13:4-8 tells us that “Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.” If two people experience all these amazing things, then it is a good thing, regardless of their genitals. Comparing same-sex love to other sins—sins entirely devoid of love—is incredibly wrong.

She is fighting hard to defend her sin, but if she is honest, there are lines she draws in the sand as well. If you ask her, can a grown man have a romantic loving sexual relationship with his grown daughter? She would most likely say no, yet it is all just love right? There are no negative outcomes right? Wrong. Whenever we deviate from God’s design and plan, there are always negative outcomes.

When Christians claim to love everybody, yet still oppose marriage equality, they sound so hypocritical: “I love you, so I advocate laws and policies that systematically discriminate against you!” Thankfully, more and more churches accept gay marriage for what it really is, marriage—two people in love who are committing their lives to each other.

Marriage is not defined by man or decided by a man’s desire, it is an institution that God designed for a very special purpose, one that a homosexual union cannot fulfill… bringing forth Godly people into the world. Before you mention the 60 year olds that cannot have children or a woman who is barren or man who is infertile, none of that changes God’s design. Men and Women unite as one flesh in marriage, something that cannot be achieved otherwise.

Some Christians still cry, “but marriage is our thing!” If marriage is so exclusive to Christians, why are adamantly anti-religious people allowed to get married, yet two gay Christians cannot? Christians seem worried that marriage equality will somehow invalidate their own marriages, which of course it does not. If you don’t believe that same sex people should get married, and don’t want your church to perform gay weddings, fine. You are allowed to believe that, you have religious freedom. If marriage equality laws are passed, your church cannot be forced to perform gay weddings. You can carry on preaching hate and ostracizing gay people as much as you want.

  1. Marriage is between one man and one woman. There is no restrictions to their belief or unbelief in scripture. However the Bible does teach it is UNWISE to be unequally yoked, but not forbidden.
  2. Truth is not hate. You are living a life of willful sin Katie, and it is only from a place of love I warn to you turn away from this behavior and repent. Your friends you love so much will cheer you on your path to Hell. While I sit by weeping for you and yet I am the hateful one?

But, even if you’re against same-sex marriage, you do not have the right to prohibit other people from getting married. Let people live their lives without you infringing on their rights—it does not affect you. Many Christians seem unable to understand the difference between religious freedom and discrimination. Religious freedom is the right to believe what you want: you are allowed to build a church and openly pray and not get arrested. But religious freedom is not the right for you to discriminate by refusing business services to gay people or to stop them living their own lives in peace.

This is the exact opposite advice you should be giving Christians. If laws are being passed that usurp God’s design and Sovereignty, it is our duty to STAND on the side of God. On a side note, the Supreme Court of the U.S. disagrees with you Katie, but I understand you are from the Outback and they may do things differently out there.

One of the most upsetting things Christians say is that they are against homosexuality, but that they still accept you: “I accept you as you are, so every night I pray that you will reject one of the most fundamental aspects of your identity.” Oh wow thanks, I am honored you still supposedly treat me as a human being, you are so Godly.

If one of the most fundamental aspects of your identity is your sexual desires, then you have a very low image of yourself and I would encourage you to embrace your Secret Identity. Which is a child of the Most High God.

But of course we know that being gay is not a choice. Though there is more to personal identity than our sexuality, who we love is an essential part of our being. Ask any Christian who has a partner if loving that person is one of the most significant aspects of their life. They’ll likely say, “yes absolutely.” Then tell them to imagine, really imagine, how it would feel if the church and most of society told them that their love for their husband or wife is wrong and evil, and that they should dump their partner. They would be horrified and hurt. This is what most Christians cannot grasp: that their love for their opposite-sex partner is identical to same-sex love. Love is love, regardless of gender. Too many people lack the empathy to compare their relationships to those of same-sex couples, and then fail to understand the cruel implications of their beliefs.

You assert that being gay is not a choice, which is necessary to help you escape any culpability. Who can blame you, even God… if you truly have “no choice” but yet we see people making a choice to be gay every day… and others leave the lifestyle every day. Choices are being made all the time to partake in sexual desires of all sorts.

But we have to make a distinction, between sexual desires and sexual acts. If you have an impulse or desire towards someone sexually, that doesn’t mean you have to act on it. Therein lies the choice. Does a pedophile CHOOSE to have a sexual desire towards a kid? No the impulses are there, but the act of doing it… that is a choice. If you ask that pedophile why he has those impulses he will surely explain how he has always felt that way, and how he loves those children. Sound familiar?

Christians also say “hate the sin, love the sinner.” The reasoning here is that being a homosexual might be ok, but practicing homosexuality is wrong. Ultimately they think that while you are ok simply being gay, you should be alone forever because you are unworthy of love. That hurts! To be considered unworthy of love by a community who spouts love to everyone is heinous. They expect gay people to abstain from connecting with another human, to be alone, and to never follow their heart.

No the expectation is not to be alone forever, but to ultimately understand sin in your life and get as far away from it as possible. When you align yourself with God, you will find greater joy than you ever imagined.

Why would God make a person gay (because, spoiler alert, it’s not a choice) if it is so wrong? Why would God make someone fall completely in love with another person and then be like, “oh just kidding!”? Why would God set someone up to have their heart broken? That would be malicious and cruel, which God isn’t. God loves love.

God didn’t make you gay Katie, it is part of your sinful nature.

Homosexual love is not a sin. Love is Love. “And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in them” (1 John 4:16).

Homosexual love IE. desires, romanticism and sexuality are all sin.

God Is Love. Love is God. Love in all its forms.

Finally something we can agree on.

A SECULAR CASE AGAINST GAY MARRIAGE

This article has been re-blogged with permission from The Wintery Knight. This article is very well written, well researched and presents a strong case in opposition to Gay Marriage, without using a theological framework. How many times have you heard, if you didn’t use your Bible you couldn’t give me one good reason homosexuals shouldn’t be permitted to Marry. This article does just that, and does it very well.


Roxeanne de Luca challenged socially conservative bloggers to write a non-religious case against same-sex marriage, so here’s mine.

I can’t possible cover everything, but I will make three arguments.

  1. Same-sex marriage is bad for children
  2. Same-sex marriage is bad for civil society and business
  3. Same-sex marriage is bad for public health

Let’s look at these in order.

1. SSM is bad for children

Traditional marriage is beneficial for children for 4 reasons:

  • traditional marriages last longer than same-sex unions
  • traditional marriages are more peaceful than same-sex unions
  • traditional marriages offer children male and female influences
  • traditional marriages model life-long love between men and women

Space permits me to only discuss the first two, using this paper from the Family Research Council, which cites data from mainstream sources like the Department of Justice, peer-reviewed studies, etc.

That research paper compares same-sex couples and heterosexual married couples, in the following ways:

  • relationship duration
  • monogamy vs. promiscuity
  • relationship commitment
  • number of children being raised
  • health risks
  • rates of intimate partner violence

It turns out that same-sex unions are not as good for children as traditional marriage, on those measures.

Relationship duration

Claim: about 58% of traditional marriages last longer than 20 years.

Source: National Center for Health Statistics, Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (2001)

Claim: about 5% of same-sex unions last longer than 20 years.

Source: 2003-2004 Gay/Lesbian Consumer Online Census

Monogamy vs Promiscuity

Claim: 85% of married women and 75.5% of married men report being faithful to their spouses. For homosexual males, the number is 4.5%

Sources: Laumann, The Social Organization of Sexuality, 216; McWhirter and Mattison, The Male Couple: How Relationships Develop (1984): 252-253; Wiederman, “Extramarital Sex,” 170.

Rates of intimate partner violence

Intimate Partner Violence

Married men and women experience significantly less intimate partner violence than do homosexual men and women.

Sources: “Extent, Nature, and Consequences of Intimate Partner Violence,” U.S. Department of Justice: Office of Justice Programs: 30; “Intimate Partner Violence,” Bureau of Justice Statistics Special Report:11.

There is a lot more evidence cited in the research paper. Read the whole thing.

Consider this article by Dr. Trayce Hansen about which family configuration is best for children. The title is “Same-Sex Marriage: Not in the Best Interest of Children”.

Excerpt:

Only mother-father families afford children the opportunity to develop relationships with a parent of the same, as well as the opposite sex. Relationships with both sexes early in life make it easier and more comfortable for a child to relate to both sexes later in life. Overall, having a relationship with both a male and female parent increases the likelihood that a child will have successful social and romantic relationships during his or her life.(5)

Moreover, existing research on children reared by homosexuals is not only scientifically flawed and extremely limited (6,7,8) but some of it actually indicates that those children are at increased risk for a variety of negative outcomes.(6) Other studies find that homosexually parented children are more likely to experiment sexually, experience sexual confusion, and engage in homosexual and bisexual behavior themselves.(5,6,9) And for those children who later engage in non-heterosexual behavior, extensive research reveals they are more likely to suffer from psychiatric disorders, abuse alcohol and drugs, (10)attempt suicide, (11) experience domestic violence and sexual assault, (12) and are at increased risk for chronic diseases, AIDS, and shortened life spans.(13,14,15)

It shouldn’t be surprising that studies find children reared by homosexuals are more likely to engage in homosexual behavior themselves (16,9,17) since extensive worldwide research reveals homosexuality is primarily environmentally induced. Specifically, social and/or family factors, as well as permissive environments which affirm homosexuality, play major environmental roles in the development of homosexual behavior.(18,19,20,21)

The rest of the article, with references, is here.

Research from the Heritage Foundation shows that traditional marriage is the safest place for women and children – women and children are much less likely to be the victims of domestic violence or violent crime when they are in a married home. Another Heritage Foundation research paper shows that child poverty is greatly reduced when children grow up in a married home.

So what do we learn from this? The evidence is clear: traditional marriage is better for children than same-sex marriage.

2. SSM is bad for civil society and business

SSM will increase the power of the state to regulate civil society and business. Let me quickly summarize the evidence for this to give you an idea how it would work, using Dr. Jennifer Roback Morse’s testimony to the Rhode Island legislature.

Excerpt:

Far from limiting the power of the state, your version of equality has become a tool for the hostile takeover of civil society by the state. Churches are already under attack for daring to dissent from the new state-imposed Orthodoxy that marriage is whatever the government says it is.7

Parents are losing the right to direct the education of their own children.8 Foster parents in the UK must submit to the state’s views about marriage.9 Reputable adoption agencies have been put out of business.

And the pettiness of some of the complaints brought by same sex couples is simply staggering. Christian bed and breakfast owners have been sued for not allowing unmarried couples to stay in double rooms. They would have gladly rented them separate rooms, but that was not good enough for the thought police.10 Same sex couples have brought legal complaints against wedding photographers, as if there were a constitutional right to have your picture taken by the person of your choice.11

The details of the events she is describing can be found in the references for her speech.

Here are a few more examples of this infringement on civil society and business:

Notice how same-sex marriage impacts businesses, clergy, non-profits, etc. and even leads to polygamy. Once you decide that marriage is not about putting guidelines around sex and producing and nurturing the next generation, but about letting consenting adults do whatever they want, then there are no rules.

Now consider this article about how the breakdown of marriage changes society and government, written by Dr. Frank Turek.

Excerpt:

The law is a great teacher, and same sex marriage will teach future generations that marriage is not about children but about coupling. When marriage becomes nothing more than coupling, fewer people will get married to have children.

So what? People will still have children, of course, but many more of them out-of wedlock. That’s a disaster for everyone. Children will be hurt because illegitimate parents (there are no illegitimate children) often never form a family, and those that “shack up” break up at a rate two to three times that of married parents. Society will be hurt because illegitimacy starts a chain of negative effects that fall like dominoes—illegitimacy leads to poverty, crime, and higher welfare costs which lead to bigger government, higher taxes, and a slower economy.

Are these just the hysterical cries of an alarmist? No. We can see the connection between same-sex marriage and illegitimacy in Scandinavian countries. Norway, for example, has had de-facto same-sex marriage since the early nineties. In Nordland,the most liberal county of Norway, where they fly “gay” rainbow flags over their churches, out-of-wedlock births have soared—more than 80percent of women giving birth for the first time, and nearly 70 percent of all children, are born out of wedlock! Across all of Norway, illegitimacy rose from 39 percent to 50 percent in the first decade of same-sex marriage.

Anthropologist Stanley Kurtz writes,“When we look at Nordland and Nord-Troendelag — the Vermont and Massachusetts of Norway — we are peering as far as we can into the future of marriage in a world where gay marriage is almost totally accepted. What we see is a place where marriage itself has almost totally disappeared.” He asserts that “Scandinavian gay marriage has driven home the message that marriage itself is outdated, and that virtually any family form, including out-of-wedlock parenthood, is acceptable.” But it’s not just Norway. Blankenhorn reports this same trend in other countries. International surveys show that same-sex marriage and the erosion of traditional marriage tend to go together. Traditional marriage is weakest and illegitimacy strongest wherever same-sex marriage is legal. 

You might say, “Correlation doesn’t always indicate causation!” Yes, but often it does. Is there any doubt that liberalizing marriage laws impacts society for the worse? You need look no further than the last 40 years of no-fault divorce laws in the United States (family disintegration destroys lives and now costs taxpayers $112 billion per year!).

No-fault divorce laws began in one state, California, and then spread to rest of the country. Those liberalized divorce laws helped change our attitudes and behaviors about the permanence of marriage. There’s no question that liberalized marriage laws will help change our attitudes and behaviors about the purpose of marriage. The law is a great teacher, and if same-sex marriage advocates have their way, children will be expelled from the lesson on marriage.

So there are financial and social costs to the breakdown of marriage. The more government has to spend to deal with the problems SSM creates, the higher taxes will go, and the less money is left in the hands of working families to accomplish their own plans.

To be fair, I think that sex education and no-fault divorce are worse threats to marriage than same-sex marriage. I would like to see more research to persuade people that chastity before marriage is important, like this research , so that we could see our way clear to push for policies that encourage young people to wait longer before having sex. And I would like to see other measures taken to strengthen marriage from no-fault divorce, such as a shared parenting laws. But SSM is the current topic, so I’ll stick with that here.

3. SSM is bad for public health

Now we come to the sensitive part. We should not be encouraging SSM because it normalizes homosexuality and the homosexual lifestyle is associated with harmful behaviors.

Consider this recent Centers for Disease Control study. Life Site News discusses the findings in this article.

Excerpt:

Students who report being gay or bisexual are more likely than heterosexual students to engage in unhealthy risk behaviors such as tobacco use, alcohol and other drug use, sexual risk behaviors, suicidal behaviors, and violence, according to a study by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC).

The study reported: “the prevalence among gay or lesbian students was higher than the prevalence among heterosexual students for a median of 63.8% of all the risk behaviors measured, and the prevalence among bisexual students was higher than the prevalence among heterosexual students for a median of 76.0% of all the risk behaviors measured.”

Specifically, gay or lesbian students had higher rates for seven of the 10 health risk categories (behaviors that contribute to violence, behaviors related to attempted suicide, tobacco use, alcohol use, other drug use, sexual behaviors, and weight management).

The study also found that only 1.3% of students self-identified as gay or lesbian at the eight sites where they were asked their “sexual identity.” A median of 3.7% said they were bisexual.

Researchers analyzed data from Youth Risk Behavior Surveys conducted during 2001–2009 in seven states and six large urban school districts. These sites collected data on high school students’ sexual identity (heterosexual, gay or lesbian, bisexual, or unsure), sex of sexual contacts (sexual contact with the opposite sex only, with the same sex only, or with both sexes), or both.

The study, “Sexual Identity, Sex of Sexual Contacts, and Health Risk Behaviors Among Students in Grades 9–12 in Selected Sites—Youth Risk Behavior Surveillance, United States, 2001–2009,” was published as a Morbidity and Mortality Weekly Report Surveillance Summary.

Dr. Trayce Hansen summarizes some of the previously published research on the health care effects of the gay lifestyle.

Excerpt:

Non-heterosexual behavior leads to increased risk of psychological and physical disorders

Sadly, the research is also clear that individuals who adopt non-heterosexual lifestyles are more likely to suffer from a host of negative outcomes including psychiatric disorders, alcohol and drug abuse, suicide attempts, domestic violence and sexual assault, and increased risk for chronic diseases, AIDS, and shortened lifespan. Schools should not affirm and thereby encourage young people to adopt lifestyles more likely to lead to such devastation. (To review these specific studies see references 5-10 below).

The footnotes she mentions are in the original article. That article also debunks the “gay gene” myth using identical twin studies, which show that only 10-11% of identical twins have the same sexual orientation.

Consider how society treats the practice of cigarette smoking. Certainly, we don’t want to coerce people into not smoking – we want them to have the choice. But we should definitely not lie to people about the health effects of smoking. It does no good to tell people that dangerous things are not really dangerous. I would rather hurt someone’s feelings gently by telling them the truth than see them suffer real harm after telling them lies.

Conclusion

In conclusion, we have seen three reasons why we should not legalize same-sex marriage:

  1. Same-sex marriage is bad for children
  2. Same-sex marriage is bad for civil society and business
  3. Same-sex marriage is bad for public health

Notice that there are no arguments in this post that require a religious worldview or belief in the inerrancy of the Bible.

Further study

For a more academic case against SSM, see this peer-reviewed paper on traditional marriage and same-sex marriage, authored by two guys from Princeton University and one guy from the University of Notredame. One of those guys is the famous Robert P. George. For some simple, practical tips on defending traditional marriage, check out this tip sheet from the National Organization for Marriage. Here’s another good peer-reviewed paper in the Harvard University Journal of Law and Public Policy. And of course there are the two recent large-scale studies on gay parenting outcomes, and responses to the criticisms of those studies.

You can also watch the videos from a formal academic debate on same-sex marriage held at the University of Central Florida, featuring Dr. Michael Brown. Dr. Jennifer Roback Morse also debated same-sex marriage at Columbia University in a formal academic debate. You can see her give a lecture on same-sex marriage at Houston Baptist University here, as well.

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Take The 40 Day Porn-Free Challenge

Stand Tall For Christ exists to equip Christians around the world, to help them live a life of Victory in Jesus Christ. A major aspect of this ministry is to help other men (or women) escape the deadly bondage of Pornography. I have written extensively on this subject and invite you to visit the Overcoming Pornography Archives for more.

Today however I want to challenge YOU to accept a very special challenge. Now when I say YOU, I am referring to those who currently watch pornography, even if you don’t think you have a “problem”. If you believe or KNOW you are addicted to Porn, then this challenge is ESPECIALLY for you.

Years ago I was introduced to a company called Covenant Eyes. They provide accountability software that monitors all of my device use and then sends accountability reports to my team every week. I CANNOT express enough how important this software has been on my road to recovery and now on my continued path of victory. You will find links to Covenant Eyes all around this site, because I believe in their products and use their products. This company does have an affiliate program, which I utilize to help offset the costs of running this blog, but I have always recommended this company even before I was an affiliate. Because it works.

Now onto the 40 Day Challenge

If you click this banner, it will take you to the Covenant Eyes page where you can enter your email and join the 40 Day Challenge. Essentially, every day for 40 Days you will receive an email with articles, videos, encouragement and tools to help you stay far away from Porn for the next 40 Days. It doesn’t cost a dime.

My hope and my prayer is that after those 40 Days you will stay on that path for life and experience intimacy with your wife as God designed and intended. If you have any questions, praise reports or prayer requests you can either post them in the comments below or email me directly for privacy: standtallforchrist@gmail.com

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What a Wife Should Do If Her Husband Is Caught Watching Pornography

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Photo By Joshua Rawson Harris on Unsplash

This is a very delicate subject and if you are a wife whose husband has been caught watching pornography… you are likely going through a firestorm of emotions. You probably feel betrayed, unworthy, unloved, unattractive… and it may feel like your world is crashing down around you. Every situation is different, you may have a husband who outwardly is a very dedicated Christian leader, perhaps a great father to his kids, and at some point was the husband you always dreamed of.

But something changed.

You start to take notice of certain things, you never noticed before. He has suddenly lost interest in you sexually or has become distant and detached emotionally. You may notice irritability or unstable emotions that weren’t there before. Then one day it happens, you catch him masturbating to pornography, or maybe you stumble upon his hidden pornography stored in some hidden folder on his computer… or vastly worse your children find it.

Your heart sinks, you feel sick, you cry out in a pain that can only be rivaled by a few things. You are now completely unsure of your future. If he is hiding this secret, what else is he hiding you ask yourself. Is there another woman involved? Is he planning to leave you and the kids? Does he have a second life, a mistress on the side? Why is he always running late at work?

These thoughts overwhelm you to the point that you feel completely lost, not just in life, but even in yourself. You have given everything to this man, you have loved him… sacrificed everything to be with him… have remained loyal to him… and this is the bitter result.

What do you do?

Your first instinct may be to run, to gather the kids and head for the hills. Indeed, you could even back up your decision Biblically if needed, as most would consider pornography as a form of Adultery. You tell yourself you can never trust him again, you have no idea what other lies may be tucked away in his life.

But can I offer you another path? Forgiveness. There are three things I want you to take away from this article that are VERY important.

  1. Your husband needs help. Depending on how addicted he is to pornography it could require MASSIVE measures to break free. In this moment of pain, it is hard to think of your husband as needing help, as he is the offender and you are the victim. But I would ask you to frame it differently in your mind… the ENEMY (the Devil and his minions) are the real offenders and your marriage and family are the victims. Your husband has fallen into a very deadly trap that Satan has been using since the dawn of time to destroy men. The same trap I fell into and countless others. This is NOT a “get out of jail FREE card” for your husband, he still has to accept his responsibility in this. He made his choices, and recognizing this will be the very first step on his path to recovery. However, please be aware there are forces at work trying to kill, steal and destroy EVERYTHING. Your marriage included.
  2. Your husband’s pornography addiction is not a reflection of anything you have done, the way you look, or his love for you. All the years I was addicted to porn, I still loved my wife immeasurably, I was simply lost in a world of darkness. Jesus came to my rescue and He can do the same for your husband.
  3. There is hope for a better future. Your husband can break free of pornography, millions of men have found freedom. Our testimony as Christians is always being written and when we overcome an area in our life like pornography, two things happen, God gets all the glory as He should and our testimony will help others find freedom. One day as crazy as it sounds you may be counseling other women who have caught their husbands as you have.

Now, if you want to fight for your marriage, this is what I recommend. Get on your knees and become a Prayer Warrior over your husband. The power of a praying wife CANNOT be understated. This I can speak of from experience as my Prayer Warrior Wife helped me find Christ when I was lost in Atheism and again when I was addicted to Pornography, Anger and Pride.

I remember the day vividly, just after I was caught secretly watching pornography, that my wife came into my room crying. She told me that day “Jesus never gave up on her, and she would never give up on me.” Emotion fills me as I write about it here today… what a powerful statement of love. I am so thankful that Jesus blessed me with her.

As you pray over your husband (and don’t stop) his behavior must be brought into the light. Depending on circumstances, the truth must be told to a trusted Christian friend, mentor or leader within the Church. This is something you should decide together. If your husband serves in Ministry then the Pastor must be made aware so he can decide the best path forward.

If you have just caught your husband in the act, and have yet to tell anyone, have a long conversation with him. Tell him how much he has hurt you, he needs to hear it. If you two decide to stand together against this… which is my prayer, then he is going to have to man up and fight.

Here are some resources to help you on this path dear Sister.

Additionally I want to point you to a very special blog… Tears in a Bottle “A Safe Haven for Wounded Hearts” is not only the tagline of this site but what it represents at every level. Cynthia is a living example of the healing power of Jesus Christ no matter how broken-hearted we may be, and her stories come from a place of honesty and transparency.  Please visit her site and be blessed by her writings as I have.

We recently released my new ebook “Shattering the Chains of Sexual Addiction” and you can get your copy completely free. All you have to do is click here or on the image below to download the free PDF now.

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